A Shuttle to Soulfulness

Some people enjoy your attention and they will insist that you behave a certain way with them, but still cut you out, leaving you feeling confused and hurt.

I’ve experienced this a few times. The perplexity I underwent due to someone’s convenience still haunts me, but thankfully, not as much as it used to. The pain has been watered down and it has left a soulful lesson or two, which I feel might help those hurting at the moment.

You see, we tend to remember people by how they made us feel. This, in my case, has led to anxiety, anger, and depression. One unbearably sleepless night, I wrote down what was bothering me and figured out that I only remembered him by the hurt he caused. I didn’t focus on what I left behind. There was a complete shift in my perspective when I jotted down only the way I responded, and the pain miraculously started fading away.

Of course, this won’t be applicable for abusive relationships. Please use your own discretion when dealing with abusive partners. For others, disassociate yourself because it won’t serve you, but be mindful of what you leave behind. That’s what matters in the end.

So, what are you leaving behind today?

Someone feeling good about knowing you or someone disappointed in you?

Between Words & Worlds

Between words

He’s free to teleport

To a different world

Where he’s writing his own story

The way it hasn’t been written here

Holding something close

Letting something go

But beyond it all

Just being the gentlest of souls

Contemplating Loneliness

What do you do when you appear at peace but your brain in brewing a storm?
You appear strong but you could use the tightest of hugs that lasts long?
Longer than eternity.
You don’t have much to say but you could use someone who’d hold your gaze… and just listen.
Listen to the silence without interpretation.
You wake up in the middle of the night next to your person, sure.
But you feel nothing but loneliness within.
What do you do when you look intact and so does your heart?
But every part of you is broken inside?
How do you put it all together?
Do you sew it, tape or stick it with a special glue?
What’s that special glue?
Do you find it where you are or you go searching for it in the markets of the world.
To want to feel included, to convince yourself that you’re not the only one suffering.
But it’s still your battle and you gotta fight it alone.
Because they will leave when priorities change.
Or, would you vanish?
Never to be seen or heard?
To not be a wolf this time and join a pack but a lion who hunts alone.
The lion who found the treasure in loneliness.

P.S. Pardon me for any incorrect analogies. Sometimes, I take the liberty of ignoring facts when I get a decent take. This was the fourth, in the dead of night.

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Dream, a Little Dream

Time.
A moment of silence in chaos.
An unexpected text.
The first meeting.
Hours spent chatting over multiple cuppa kipu (read cups of tea).
Stolen glances of admiration.
Moments of appreciation.
Grateful for their presence.
Grateful for their existence.

#dream

True That!

I read this somewhere and think it’s so worth sharing.

“In a world where it’s easier to ghost, appreciate those who stay, communicate gently and honestly, don’t give up on you, and don’t let you fall.”

Before Spring Bloom

Life goes on or so it seems
While her mind is full of him and his memories
Who knows
If it’s she who’s caught in their cage or them in her’s
Her eyes may never give away what she truly feels

But sometimes in the cold hours of quietude
She lets it trickle, the old distress
Her soul whispers a silent prayer
That he’d remember her in the littlest of things he encounters everyday

The droplets of her bleeding heart may be wiped away
The wound may slowly heal
His face in her mind, sketched and erased
Since time immemorial

What will never cease to exist through this ordeal
Is the little voice inside her appeal
“I wish you’d come back soon
At least before spring bloom”